How to Ruin Christmas & New Years 101
by Sable-eyed-lily
Summary: Draco and Harry realize that the spark in their relationship has gone, so they try to fix it. They take the advice of several of their friends and attempt to bring the romance back. How many ways can this possibly go wrong? Warnings: SLASH


**~*~*~H.D.~*~*~**

**Author: Sable-eyed-lily**

**Rating: M**

**Genre: Humor/Romance**

**Summary: Draco and Harry realize that the spark in their relationship has gone, so they try to fix it. They take the advice of several of their friends and attempt to bring the romance back. How many ways can this go wrong? Warnings: SLASH, Sexual content, some cursing**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything... Duh! If I did, Harry and Draco would have hooked up sometime in the 6th book when Harry became obsessive. No money is being made, unfortunately, and JKR owns all of this. Oh, and part of this story I got the idea from Queer as Folk and from the movie I Think I Love My Wife, so, just to clarify: I don't own those either. **

**A/N: I had to do something for the Holiday season. It's a few days after Christmas, but really… I was busy. A new PS3 will do that to a girl. And school's about to kill me. Thankfully I'm on break. I have an insane History teacher... Enough said. ****Anywhos****, this is the first ****fanfic**** I'****ve**** ever written that has this much sexual content in it. So, sorry if those parts suck. Oh, and constructional criticism is always welcome. Or, almost always welcome. Happy Readings!**

**How to Ruin Christmas & New Years 101**

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

"Draaaaaco," Harry whined, "Hurry up. We're not going to be late again to another party!" A muffled retort was shot back from the other side of the bathroom door. "We're already an hour late. 'Mione will kill us when we get there, so hurry up. Merlin, you're worse than most of the girls we knew in Hogwarts."

The door flew open and Draco made a ta-da motion with his hands. Harry grabbed his arm impatiently and apparated them to the Weasley-Granger cottage. They landed outside their little garden. "Honestly, Harry, was that necessary?" Draco grumbled.

Harry glared at him, "If you had gotten ready earlier, we wouldn't be late to the Christmas party." His face fell as a new thought occurred to him. "Do you think they've already finished serving the little horse durves?"

The blonde rolled his eyes. "They're called hors d'œuvres you cretin. And besides, Granger won't mind. We're just fashionably late. She's probably used to it by now." He linked his arm with his lover and strolled towards the door.

Harry continued his mournful rant. "And Seamus said he had an important announcement to make tonight with all of us."

Draco sneered, "Knowing Finnigan, he's probably announcing his latest shag or how he got arrested for public indecency... Again!" Harry elbowed him playfully before knocking on the door.

Hermione answered the door. "Harry! Draco! You made it just in time. Seamus was just about to let us in on the big news. Come in, come in." She ushered them into the living room hastily.

"Blaise?" Draco asked in surprise, "What are you doing here?" The other Slytherin gave a short nod to the blonde aristocrat before tilting his head towards Seamus.

"Well…" Seamus started nervously, "He's part of the announcement. I, erm, we've well… We've been seeing each other for a while, and we've decided to buy a flat together." The Irishman flushed before sitting down quickly.

There was a shocked silence before Ron broke it. "You mean to tell us that the two biggest sluts from Hogwarts are going to buy an apartment together?"

"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. She turned to the two men sitting on the couch. "I think it's wonderful that you guys are finally settling down. You're doing the mature thing. _Unlike someone I know._" She gave Ron a pointed glare. Ron shifted uncomfortably and gave his wife a weak smile.

"Yeah, it's great news you two." Harry grinned at them. Everyone else began to follow his lead and congratulate the new couple. He walked back to Draco and whispered in his ear, "Well, I honestly never saw that one coming."

Draco sneered, "It won't last. Neither of them will be able to keep it in their pants long enough. Monogamy isn't a word in Blaise's vocabulary."

"Weirder things have happened," Harry murmured, "Just look at us. Fourteen years and we're still doing fine." Harry pulled away. "I'm going to go talk with George. I haven't seen him in ages. I'll see you later." Draco dismissed him with a wave of his regal hand.

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

"Are you and Finnigan really going to buy an apartment?" Draco asked Blaise later.

The dark Slytherin shrugged. "We figured what the hell. We spend most of our time at my place, so we decided to get a place of our own. Jealous are we?"

Draco snorted. "Jealous? Of what? The fact that you both have had at least 20 charges for public sex?"

Zabini began to smirk. "How does it feel knowing that you and Potter will never have public sex? Face it Draco, you're suffering from FBD."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Draco demanded.

"Fag Bed Death. You and Potter have lost your touch. Do you even have sex anymore?"

"Of course we have sex!" Draco exploded. He flushed as several people turned to stare at his outburst.

"Really?" Blaise challenged. "When was the last time you two shagged?"

"Last Saturday." Draco said triumphantly.

Blaise raised his eyebrow. "I just had sex about half an hour ago."

Draco sputtered. "At a party? Have you no sense of decorum?!"

Blaise pointed his finger at him with glee. "See? The very idea of Finnigan and I shagging in Weasley's new Cadillac has you acting like a prudish Hufflepuff. Admit it Malfoy, you've turned all vanilla on me."

Draco had never felt so insulted in his life. "Are you implying that I am going _soft_?!"

"As a marshmallow."

"Harry and I have _plenty _of wild sex. We-we just do it discreetly."

Blaise rolled his eyes. "I haven't seen you two so much as kiss once this whole night."

Draco puffed up indignantly. "Maybe we were shagging inside the house while you were fucking in the damn car. At least Harry and I have a committed relationship. He does _plenty_ of romantic things for me. In fact, he's probably plotting something sexually devious or romantically inclined this very second."

Blaise looked over Draco's shoulder and sniggered. "Actually, it looks more like he's trying to have a contest with Weasley. Seems they're attempting to see who can shove the most hors d'œuvres in their mouths without choking to death."

Draco turned around and groaned. _Damn it Harry!_ "Fine, maybe we've lost that 'new couple' spark, but we've moved into the committed relationship zone, which is more than you can say about yourself." Draco longed to smack the stupid smirk off Zabini's face.

"Whatever you say, Draco, whatever you say."

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

Draco sat miserably at the kitchen table with a cup of tea. The party had ended a few hours ago, and he and Harry had returned to their flat. Draco was torn between crying with frustration and breaking something. Preferably Zabini's face. The problem was that Blaise was right. Harry hadn't even kissed him since they arrived back home. The brunette was showering, while Draco sat in a raincloud of despair.

He stood up determinedly. Why in the name of Merlin was he just sitting there? If he wanted to fix this, he'd have to do it himself. He padded along the hallway and into the bathroom. The water had already turned off, and he saw Harry standing there in only a towel. "Harry…" Draco purred.

The spectacled man glanced up in surprise. "Hey, Draco. You can have the shower now." The blonde didn't reply. Instead, he leaned sinfully against the practically naked Savior of the Wizarding World. "Erm… Draco, what are you doing?"

"What does it feel like I'm doing?" Draco whispered into his ear before sucking the lobe thoughtfully.

"But it's not even a Saturday night." Harry protested.

Draco finally snapped. "That is it Potter! I've had it! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you?!"

"Erm…"

"It was bad enough at the party. But now I was practically offering myself up to you, and the best you can say is '_But it's not even a Saturday night._'?!!?" Draco stormed off, and left a very confused Harry Potter clad in only a towel.

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

"Draco, I think we need to talk." Harry was now in his night clothes and was looking at a very distraught Malfoy.

"There's nothing to talk about." Draco insisted. "The problem's clear to me. We've lost our touch Harry!" He finished with a wail, "Things are no longer fun. The passion has left us! The ardour has waned! The flames of our burning love are being snuffed out! The-"

"-I get it!" Harry cut in mid-rant. "Well, what should we do about it?"

"I don't know! Isn't this the part where you come up with some magnificent scheme?"

"I thought scheming was a Slytherin quality, not a Gryffindor one." Harry said. "Let's go to bed, love. We'll figure it out later."

"Fine…"

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

"So, George… How's life going for you?" Harry asked the next day. He made a stop at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes during his lunch break. The Auror department had been pretty quiet the past few days, and the only thing he was doing was paperwork.

George raised an eyebrow. "Good… You do realize that we saw each other just yesterday, don't you Harry?"

The green eyed man laughed nervously. "Really? Time must really fly."

George gestured towards his private office. "Okay, Harry, out with it. What is this really about?"

Harry groaned and rubbed his temples in frustration. "Draco and I are having problems. We… We need something to spark up the romance department."

"FBD?" George asked sympathetically.

"And Draco's so unhappy and I- What?"

"Fag Bed Death." George said solemnly. "It happens to the best of us mate."

Harry sputtered, "We do NOT have FBD! We just need something to spice up the bedroom."

George sighed. "Okay, here's what you do…"

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

"Oh, god… This has to be the worst thing I've ever done." Harry craned his neck to get a better look in the mirror. He was wearing a completely leather outfit. Harry whimpered as he turned around slowly. The entire seat of his trousers was gone. His bare arse was hanging out with only a thin leather thong strip covering the crack. "Oh, bloody hell…" The front was even worse. The pants looked painted on, and left little to the imagination. The entire outline of his bits was visible. And the leather vest was so tight, he could barely breathe.

_Okay, okay. Everything will be fine. Have I got everything? Outfit? Check. Collar for Draco? Check. Leather whip? Check. Lines? 'Kneel at your master's feet slave.' 'Don't disobey me, or I'll get out the cock-ring.' 'Bend over.' Check._

Harry grimaced once more at his reflection. The mirror let out a low whistle. "Darling you look good enough to eat." The mirror-Harry purred. "Now turn around again so I can get a better look." It leered at him.

Harry gave the mirror a frightened glance before running towards the living room. Draco would be home at any moment from work at St. Mungo's. Harry nervously held the whip and tried to find a good pose. He eventually decided to lean casually against the wall. The front door clicked open. His breath caught.

"Harry! I'm home." Draco walked around the corner and stared at Harry in shock.

Harry smiled at him lasciviously. "Welcome home _lover_." Draco seemed to be frozen with a mixture of dismay and surprise on his face. Harry frowned at this. Didn't Draco love his present?

"Draco darling, I don't know why you continue to insist on living he- Oh!" Narcissa Malfoy had just rounded the corner and all three occupants of the room were looking at each other in growing horror. Harry couldn't breathe. But the disaster didn't stop there.

"Narcissa, why must we come here when we could be at the Mano-" Lucius Malfoy stopped dead in his tracks. The shock of seeing a half-naked Chosen One had rendered him speechless. No one seemed willing to break the Merlin-awful silence. Harry suddenly snapped out of it, and grabbed a pillow off the couch to cover himself. Although it was pointless, considering the Malfoys had already seen everything he had to offer, but it made him feel less exposed.

"What are you doing Harry?" Draco finally managed to choke out.

"I would think that would be obvious." Harry's body seemed to be catching up with events and a full body blush spread across his skin.

"Didn't you get the letter I sent you that said Mother and Father would be joining us for dinner?" Draco asked incredulously.

"What letter?" Harry burst out.

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap_

Everyone in the room turned their head toward the window on the east wall. Draco's beautiful eagle owl was tapping furiously. "Oh…" said Harry in a tiny voice.

"Achem," Narcissa politely cleared her throat. "Perhaps we should have dinner another time, Draco darling. Come along Lucius." She pulled the very green looking aristocrat away from the scene of the crime, and headed for the front door.

Draco and Harry were left to stare at each other in silence. Well, Draco was left staring. Harry was studiously avoiding his gaze. He eventually met the silvery gray eyes which were sparkling with amusement. "Erm… surprise?" Harry finally offered.

Draco finally burst out laughing. "Oh, sweet Merlin, Harry. You should have seen your face." He collapsed on the floor, his legs spasming out and breathless with his giggles. Harry flushed a deep maroon and threw the pillow at his head. "Aww, come now, love. You have to admit it was funny."

"I don't think your mother will ever be able to convince Lucius to come back here."

Draco waved a dismissive hand, "We'll just go to the Manor if we want to have dinner with them." Draco quirked an eyebrow. "And how exactly were you going to present this... present to me?" Harry blushed even deeper, if that was possible, and held up the leather collar that was meant for Draco. The blonde let out a deep laugh. "That's very sweet of you Harry. Lame, but sweet."

Harry glared at him, "It was meant to be VERY sexually arousing. Besides, I haven't seen you make any attempt to fix our... problem."

"Idiotic Gryffindor," Draco said fondly, "As if a Malfoy would ever lower himself to wearing a collar. If anyone's going to be the submissive one in this role playing game, it's going to be you."

Harry sputtered indignantly, "_I'm_ the Savior of the Wizarding World. The savior wouldn't be the slave. _I_ rid the world of the most evil man on the planet."

"I thought you said that title was stupid."

"Did I? I don't recall ever saying that." Harry glared stubbornly.

Draco sighed, "Next time just leave the scheming to the Slytherin in the relationship."

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

A few days later, both Harry and Draco were back at Hogwarts. Once a year, Headmistress McGonagall requested Harry to give an inspirational speech to the seventh years. It was usually done during the spring, but the Minerva insisted he do it now since a majority of the seventh years were staying over for the holidays. Usually he was alone, but this year Draco tagged along.

"I don't know why you insisted we leave so early." Harry grumbled. "We've got at least another hour before I have to give the speech."

"Oh, hush Potter. You give the same speech every year." Draco was looking around nervously.

"Oiy, I'll have you know I work hard on those speeches. It's not easy to inspire and not bore a bunch of 17 year olds. Maybe we can visit Teddy before we lea-mmph!" Harry gasped as Draco shoved him up against the wall inside an alcove and smashed his mouth against his. Draco's tongue swiped roughly against the brunette's bottom lip and forcefully made its way inside. Harry shoved him away, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Draco slowly slid his hands up against the hard planes of his body. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm helping you to feel… inspired for your big speech." And with that, he once again kissed the stunned lips. His right hand was running through the dark unruly locks, and his left was impatiently undoing the other man's trousers.

"Draco!" Harry gasped, "We need to stop. Anyone could walk by and see us. We literally cannot be caught with our pants down."

"Oh, come on, Potter." Draco whispered seductively. "Don't tell me you're not enjoying every minute of this. Plus, that's the fun in it. The idea that anyone could see us back here. Don't you like the danger? The excitement? Tell me you don't want it."

"I don't."

"Really? Because this seems to say otherwise." Draco quickly grasped the large bulge in his trousers and squeezed roughly. Harry moaned appreciatively. "Soooo," He stroked firmly through the fabric, "What do you say?"

"Fine." Harry growled out, and pounced on the smirking blonde. His lips attacked the smooth pale throat with teasing bites that were soothed by slow licks. "Mmmmm… taste so good…" He murmured against Draco's collarbone.

"Harry…" Draco moaned, as he fumbled desperately with said man's zipper. He reversed their positions and shoved his lover's back against the stone wall. "Finally…" Harry gave a loud cry when the cool hand finally grasped his cock. He placed his hands around and behind Draco's waist and dug his nails into his firm arse. He yanked his arms backward, causing their erections to press against each other with only a thin layer of fabric separating them. Both men groaned at the contact. Draco thrust harshly and threw back his head, exposing his elegant neck. Harry leaned his head in and slowly bit into the skin and began to suck greedily. A beautiful dark red bruise was just starting to grow when all of a sudden they heard a loud yell.

"UNCLE HARRY!!!!!"

Draco and Harry immediately leapt back in alarm. Draco's hand was still firmly in Harry's trousers, so he pulled him back with him. Both men fell to the floor in a tangle of limbs. Harry looked up quickly, and saw the horrified gaze of Teddy Lupin.

"Oh, _shit!_" Harry couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Oh! My eyes!" Poor Teddy slapped his hands across said eyes. His hair was rapidly changing colors thanks to the combined effect of his metamorphosis blood and the sight of his godfather going at it with his boyfriend. "My poor innocent, virgin eyes! Oh, Merlin! I can feel them burning. Oh, god, someone get me acid so I can burn away the images! Ugggggghhhhhhh!" With that, Teddy Lupin spun around and ran blindly down the corridor.

Draco stood up smoothly and brushed off the imaginary dust. "Well, that could have gone pear-shaped." He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair before noticing Harry's murderous glare. "Yes?"

"That's all you have to say for yourself?!" Harry exploded. "Look at what you've done! Teddy will probably never be able to look at us in the face again."

Draco sighed before reaching over and fixing Harry's appearance. He gently tugged the now flaccid cock before tucking it in. "You may want to keep that out of sight. You dulcet yelling may bring more students along to investigate." Draco raised his hands towards the furious face and straightened the crooked glasses. "Besides, Teddy just overreacted. He'll get over it. It's not like he's going to tell anyone."

Harry's face grew paler at the mention of these words. "Oh, Merlin… Andromeda's gonna kill us." At Draco's snort, he shot him a warning look, "Don't underestimate her. Her sisters are your mother and Bellatrix."

"Oh, fuc-"

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

"-KING?!?! NO, REALLY, TELL ME WHAT YOU TWO WERE THINKING!?!?!? HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT THIS COULD DO TO A YOUNG IMPRESSIONABLE BOY?!?!?! IF YOU THINK THIS IS THE END OF THIS CONVERSATION, YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN!!!! AND INFORM DRACO THAT HIS MOTHER WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS!! MAKE NO MISTAKE!!!! GOOD DAY MR. POTTER!!!!"

The howler burst into flame in Harry's stricken face. He turned around slowly when he heard the soft chuckles. "You think this is funny?"

Draco snorted and started to answer, but he caught the murderous look in the green eyes. "Pshht… no…"

Harry threw his arms up in frustration. "Your entire family is going to think I'm some sexually starved deviant. First, the leather, and now the Hogwarts incident."

"Well, the leather was your own fault." Draco pointed out. Harry glared at him before grabbing his cloak. "Where are you going?"

"Out," Harry snarled before storming out of the apartment and apparating to the Leaky Cauldron. He gave a small wave to Hannah, the owner, before sitting at the bar. He ordered a firewhiskey and downed it in one quick swallow. He waved for another.

"Alright there, Harry?" Seamus sat down next to him. He caught the expression on his face "What's wrong?"

"Who said anything's wrong." Harry grumbled before looking up at his friend. His lips quirked up. "Really Shay? A Cosmo at the Leaky? Why don't you just wear a neon sign that says 'gay here' and be done with it?"

Seamus shrugged, "Don't be so quick to judge. And don't change the subject. Why do you look like someone just killed your pet kneazle?"

Harry let out a long sigh, "Draco and I are having problems."

"He cheating on you?"

"No, no, nothing like that." Harry waved that off right away, "We're having problems in the bedroom."

"E.D.?" Seamus asked sympathetically.

"I- what?"

"Erectile Dysfunction." Harry spit out his drink at that and began to choke. Seamus thumped him on the back, and Harry gradually started to breathe more normally. Several people in the pub shot them curious looks, but Seamus gave them an okay sign and they went back to their business. "Here, mate," The Irishman passed over a bottle filled with little blue pills. Harry looked at him questioningly. "Blaise and I tried them out for a bit of fun. They'll keep you up and running for _at least_ five rounds."

Harry flushed and whispered in fear of being overheard. "We aren't having those kinds of problems. We just need a little something to spice up the bedroom."

"Oh, well, keep 'em anyway. You may need 'em for a rainy day. And as for spicing up the bedroom… Have you tried mixing up the arrangement yet?" At Harry's confused look, he elaborated, "Like maybe adding another person. A threesome is always exciting."

"I dunno Shay…" Harry said hesitatingly. "We've always been monogamous. I don't think Draco would enjoy sharing."

"It'll be fine Harry." Seamus insisted, "You have no idea how hot this can be. It'll be perfect." Harry bit his lip nervously. "Here, tell you what, I'll even set it up for you." Seamus glanced around the room. "There!"

"Smith?!" Harry asked incredulously.

"Don't let his personality bother you. You should see the things he can do with that mouth of his." He got a dreamy look on his face at the very idea. "Be right back!"

"No!" Harry made a mad grab for him, but the blonde was already half way across the room. Harry saw him speaking to Smith before they both turned to look at him. Harry flushed furiously before sinking in his seat.

"Hello Potter." A smooth voice said silkily. Harry glanced up and smiled weakly at Zacharias Smith. "Shall we get going then?" Green eyes sought out Seamus and saw him flash a thumbs-up. Harry groaned before grabbing Smith's hand and apparating them to the flat.

Smith let out a low whistle. "Nice place Potter." He turned around and gave Harry a slow grin. "Not so bad yourself." He waltzed up to the wizard and began to unbutton his shirt.

"I-I really think we should wait for Draco." Harry said nervously.

"Oh, he'll join in." Smith replied, his eyes dilating at the sight of the dark nipples.

"No," said Harry firmly, "I want him to be here first."

Smith rolled his eyes. "This is no time to be such a girl Potter." He smashed his lips against the slightly chapped ones of the Chosen One. His hands locked into the dark hair and forced Harry to stay there.

Harry was frozen with shock. It felt all wrong. The lips were to thin, the hair was too much of a sickly yellow shade, and the tongue sliding along his lower lip felt slimy and disgusting. It wasn't his Draco. How could he ever think this was a good idea? Before Harry's body could process all this and shove Smith away, he heard a loud gasp behind him. Smith immediately released him, and Harry looked into the hurt eyes of Draco.

"I-" Harry gasped, "I-It's not what it looks like!" He immediately blurted out. It was clearly the wrong thing to say, because Draco looked ready to murder.

"Get the fuck out!" He snarled at Smith. "NOW!" He yelled when the other blonde looked ready to argue. Smith sent Harry an apologetic look before apparating away. Harry ignored this. His eyes were only for Draco. The gray eyes shut down all emotions and the only thing left was an icy winter storm. "Well… What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I-I'm sorry for storming out earlier." Harry began, "I shouldn't have lost my temper. I went to the Leaky and-"

"-And what? You met Smith and decided to have a go with him while I was out there looking for you?"

"No! Seamus told me that we should try some new things in the bedroom to improve our relationship. He said a threesome would work." Harry tried to explain. "It was a stupid idea. Smith started kissing me, and I tried to stop him."

"Was this before or after he undid your shirt?" Draco sneered. The harsh steel in his eyes cut through the apologetic emeralds.

"I swear, Draco, the kiss meant _nothing_ to me." Harry insisted. His green eyes pleaded the gray storms to understand.

"So you ruined everything we've built together for _nothing_?" Draco felt moisture gathering in his eyes, so he turned around quickly. "You know what Harry? I can't even stand looking at you right now." He stalked towards the fireplace.

"Wait. Don't leave, Draco, please…" Harry tried to grab his elbow, but he shook it off.

"I'm going to stay at the Manor for a few days. I just can't stand staying here for another minute." And Draco left in a storm of emerald flames and a cry of "Malfoy Manor."

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

"Oh, Harry…" Hermione sighed as she poured him a cup of tea.

"Hic-He just left. I-hic-could do nothing." Harry sniffled pathetically while Hermione bustled around the tiny kitchen.

"Well, mate, at least you were only in the living room. It could have been in the bedroom." Ron patted his arm, looking uncomfortable. Emotions weren't his department. He usually left it all up to his wife.

"I couldn't even-hic- say anything-hic-I just blurted out that it didn't-sniff-look like what it-hic-was." Harry finished miserably. Hermione smacked him across the head. "What the-hic-hell, 'Mione?"

"That's enough self-pity." Hermione said sternly. "You should be working on a way to win him back."

"Hic-How do I do that?" Harry attempted to pull himself together.

"Invite him over to apologize and explain yourself. He'll give you a fair chance. When he comes by, surprise him with rose, candles, and dinner." Hermione instructed.

"I dunno 'Mione…"

"It's a perfect plan. _Isn't it Ron?_" Ron nodded eagerly at the glare she sent him.

"I guess I could try that…" Harry said. "When should I make the date?"

"Well, New Year's Eve is tomorrow, so do it then. It'll be sweet." Hermione's eyes glazed over at the thought of it. She cleared her throat and shook her head before continuing, "I'll help you get everything set up. Don't worry Harry. Everything will run smoothly."

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

"Okay Harry, everything's set up." Hermione looked around the living room one last time. The fireplace had been lit and there were a hundred little candles floating around the room. A round table with a white tablecloth sat in the middle of the room with two chairs. Two steaming plates of homemade Fettuccini Alfredo were waiting with warming charms placed on them. At the last minute she also added a red rose for Draco.

"Thanks 'Mione," Harry smiled gratefully, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You wouldn't survive a day." Hermione smiled. "Now, I've dimmed the lights. You and Draco should talk it out in the kitchen. Once you've kissed and made up, you can take him in there for the surprise. You did owl him, didn't you?"

"First thing this morning." Harry informed her. "He'll be arriving any minute. It's almost six o'clock."

He gave his friend another hug before she apparated with a wish of "Good luck!" Harry smiled and went into the bedroom to check his appearance once more. He debated wearing his jacket or not. Just as he was about to put the jacket down, he felt a lump in one of the pockets. He pulled out the small pill bottle. Harry was about to place it down, but he hesitated. Maybe this was the key to help their relationship. A little bit of an extra kick surely wouldn't hurt anyone, would it? Before he could change his mind, he quickly swallowed the little blue pill.

Harry was still nervously pacing around the living room. Everything looked _perfect_. Harry smiled. Draco was going to _love_ this. Harry walked over to the Wizarding Wireless and turned it on. A slow romantic number sung by Celestina Warbeck was just ending. Harry relaxed. This was a sign. _Nothing_ could go wrong tonight.

"_We interrupt this program for an emergency broadcast."_

Harry immediately sat up. A horrible sense of foreboding settled in the pit of his stomach. He ran over and turned up the volume on the Wireless, listening with dread as the news floating across the room.

_"An explosion was caused by a spell gone wrong at a New Year's Eve party near London. Hundreds have been injured, including muggles, and all Healers have been called to St. Mungo's Hospital. We will keep our listeners informed with further news. Stay tuned."_

Harry had the strong urge to kick something. Preferably the bastard that cast the damn spell. Draco was probably already at the hospital and tending to those that were injured. Which meant that Harry's special surprise was ruined. Harry threw himself into one of the chairs and sulked. He knew he should be feeling sorry for the people that were injured, but right now he just couldn't give a damn. He poured himself a glass of the expensive wine that Draco always insisted was the best and scowled. The evening couldn't get any worse.

The bright green eyes widened as he felt a slight tingling. He looked down into his lap and groaned with dismay at the large bulge. _Well… Fuck..._

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

"Harry!" Hermione said with surprise, "Why aren't you with Draco?"

"Emergency at St. Mungo's," Harry muttered. "Is Seamus here?"

"Yes…" Hermione gave him an odd look, "He's in the sitting room with everyone else. Do you want to come in?"

"No, no, no." Harry laughed a bit hysterically, "Could you just send Seamus out here for me please?"

"Okay Harry…" Hermione threw him another bewildered look before walking towards the other door. Harry heard her faintly calling for Seamus. He nervously fiddled with the buttons on the long trench coat he wore.

"What's the matter Harry?" The blonde Irishman asked curiously. "And why're you dressed like that?"

Harry shot him a distressed look. "I-I took some of those pills you gave me…"

"And?"

Harry beckoned him closer and hissed under his breath, "I still have an erection."

"You still have an erection?!"

Harry slapped his hand over his mouth. "Shhhh! It's been at least 5 hours, and it still won't go down."

"Have you tried wanking?" Seamus asked curiously.

Harry gave him an exasperated groan. "Of course I've tried wanking. My right arm is about to fall off. What do I do?"

"Let me get Ron." Seamus turned around and started calling for the red head before Harry could stop him. Ron came over a few minutes later with George following behind him.

"What's the problem, mate?" Ron asked, a worried expression on his face. Seamus whispered the situation to both of the Weasley men. The two red heads started howling hysterically. Ron looked like he was about to spontaneously self-combust from laughing so hard and George looked as if April Fools had come early. Ron wiped a few tears of laughter from his face before composing himself. "Have you tried a cold shower yet?"

"Or scaring it?" Seamus piped in.

"Maybe Ron should whip his out and show it to him," George sniggered, "The mere sight of it would probably cause Harry's to shrivel up instantly. Ouch!" He exclaimed, dodging Ron's fist as it came in for another hit.

"I'll go get 'Mione. She'll probably know what to do." Ron spun around and marched off to find his wife.

"Someone kill me." Harry begged. This could not get more embarrassing. His entire face felt as if it was on fire and his hair was probably seven shades of red by now. He would have willingly given every galleon he owned for the earth to swallow him up. This just couldn't be happening. He heard Hermione's chortles as she entered the room. She stopped laughing when she saw the misery on her friend's face.

"Okay, Harry," She said gently, "Why don't you tell me what happened." Harry began to tell her the woeful tale, but she interrupted him midway, "Wait! You took that pill five hours ago?" At Harry's nod, Hermione gasped, "The commercials all say that if you have an erection lasting more than four hours, you should see a healer right away!"

"No!" Harry gaped at her, "There's no way I'm going to St. Mungo's! Draco's probably there. I can't let him see me like this!"

"_Harry…_" Hermione said sternly, "You need to see a doctor. For all you know, there could be a blood clot down there, and it could kill you."

"Well, in this case, I'd say that's preferable." Harry snapped.

"Harry, I'm really, really sorry about this, but… GET HIM!" Harry made a grab for his wand, but he couldn't find it in all of the multiple pockets of the trench coat. He found it and held it up triumphantly. He was not, however, expecting Ron's sudden tackle. Both of them fell to the snowy ground. "Someone get his wand!" He heard Seamus cry. Harry's heart fell at his friends' betrayal. He heard someone yell a stunning spell, and his last thoughts were that he was going to kill every single one of his friends. Sentences to Azkaban be damned.

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

Harry woke up groggily to a loud cry of, "_Enervate!_" He blinked several times before the face of an unknown healer came into view. "Mr. Potter? Can you hear me?" Harry glanced down and saw his erect cock standing proud as ever through the hospital bed sheets. He groaned and then nodded at the healer. "We were going to ask your emergency contact for permission, but Mrs. Weasley-Granger insisted we wake you up and ask you personally." Harry felt a wave of gratitude for Hermione. He wouldn't have been able to bare it if Draco had come in and seen him.

"What are you going to do?" Harry asked hoarsely.

"Well, this is muggle medicine, so we can't cure you the usual way. If we did, impotency and low sperm count could have been a potential side effect." Harry's face paled dramatically. "We must do this the muggle way and get the blood out." The healer held up a large needle and tapped it sharply, "I'm afraid this is the only way, Mr. Potter."

"No!" Harry yelled frantically, trying to scoot away. "Don't come anywhere near me with that-that _thing_!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter, but we must get that blood out." At Harry's continued struggles the healer sighed in exasperation before casting a spell. Harry's limbs suddenly became lead weights, and he couldn't move an inch. The Savior of the Wizarding World felt a sudden wave of accidental magic overcome him, and the healer was lifted off his feet, and sent sprawling to the other side of the room. "Someone get Healer Malfoy! We can't contain him!" Harry's face blanched before he renewed his fruitless attempts at escape. He once again felt the prick of another stunner. _Just great…_

~*~*~H.D.~*~*~

Harry blinked slowly. Beams of the sun's rays were hitting him in the face. He sat up slowly and saw Draco half sitting in a chair and half lying across his bed. Harry groaned at the realization that Draco knew exactly what had happened. His moan made Draco stir and he slowly sat up as well. "How are you feeling?" The blonde asked after a long yawn.

"Good." Harry replied croakily. Draco conjured a glass of water and held it up to his chapped lips. When he was done, the blonde leaned back in his chair. Harry gulped at the smirk on his lover's face.

"So… Viagra? Really, Harry?" The smirk grew wider as a blush spread across the brunette's cheeks.

Harry ducked his head down. "I thought it would help us out. I-I had planned something for us, but then the Wireless came in with the message of the explosion…"

Draco was still smirking. "That confident were you that we'd be having make-up sex?"

"Not confident, just eager." Harry shrugged. "I-I'm sorry about the whole Smith thing. It was really a stupid idea. I didn't mean for us to fight. And I didn't mean to hurt you." Draco just nodded, and Harry knew he'd been forgiven.

"The Healer's given you strict orders. There's to be no strenuous activities for at least two weeks. And that includes sex." Draco added.

Harry groaned. "At this rate, we're never going to have sex."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps we're trying too hard. Maybe we should just let it happen when it happens."

"That doesn't mean we can't help push it along." Harry held Draco's hand and caressed the skin with his thumb. "You could always wear a sexy nurse's outfit and give me a sponge bath or something." Draco snorted. "Or I could wear my Auror uniform and give you a strip search." Harry cheered up at this thought.

"Have you already forgotten the no strenuous activities rule?"

Harry frowned. "Well, _I_ don't necessarily have to do anything strenuous. I could lay back and you could do all the work." The green eyes glazed over at this new thought. Draco straddling his lap, naked and eager. Hands working their way slowly down his body and those pale fingers slowly working themselves up that tight little-

"-Harry!" Draco snapped his fingers in front of his face.

"Hmmmmm?" Harry asked while visions of a naked Draco danced in his head.

Draco sighed, "No shagging! Healer's orders."

Harry pouted, "Not even a little? I could probably still get it up." Harry winced as his mind just then registered how sore he really was down there. "Then again, maybe not… This New Year's Eve sucked."

Draco let out a low chuckle that sent shivers down the brunette's spine. "Well, there is that one muggle saying. They say that whatever you do at the end of the year is what you'll be doing for the rest of the yea-"

"-Draco… Shut up."

The End

**~*~*~H.D.~*~*~**

**Soooo… Loved it? Hated it? Too long? Too boring? Totally Awesome? Surprisingly Amazing? Lemme know! R&R please!**

**XOXO**

**Lils**


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